To thine own self be true
I went to a Tarot card reading last week for shits and giggles, and it was far more empowering than I thought. Most people believe that you should go to a Tarot card reader for answers, but the reader said that it’s not about the answers; it’s about asking the right questions. It dawned me that there’s always more than one answer for most questions, and that it’s about finding the one that’s right for you.
When I was younger, I never stopped to consider: “Am I happy with what I’m doing?”, or “am I happy with who I am?” I would often think: “What would people think of me if I had this job? Am I following the ‘right’ path?” The truth is, it shouldn’t matter, you should not try to hold yourself to other people’s expectations. I once heard, “comparison is the thief of joy” and, oh boy, did that hit me hard. I feel like it wasn’t until I left home for college that I was able to be free enough to discover myself. It was the first time I had left home, and it was so hard for me that first year not to just give up and go back. Growth can be painful and uncomfortable, but it makes you stronger.
The only thing that’s important is being true to yourself and how you want to live your life. Finding your own path is one of the most challenging things to do. On the way, negative thoughts can easily sway how you make choices. I decided a while ago that I don’t want to be afraid anymore, and if I’m not feeling happy, do something about it. Happiness is something inside of you, and you’re in control, even if sometimes you don’t feel that way. I’ve definitely felt miserable before — I sulked for a while, felt the feels, and tried to do something about it, which led me to writing more, and finding new parts of myself.
Journaling, meditating and writing affirmations about who I am, and who I want to be, help me keep a healthy mindset. When I make a mistake and I start beating myself up about it, I’ll notice the mean shit I say to myself that I would never say to someone in the same situation, but then I realize I need to forgive myself. I remind myself, I am only human. I’m fabulous and fine, just how I am.
Sometimes in my posts, when I add pictures of myself, I’ll get self-conscious and worry that people will think I’m conceited, when all I want to do is share photos where I feel like I’m shining, or moments in time that I felt alive. Honestly, what’s wrong with that? It feels good, and I hope it inspires others to share their most authentic selves, whether they feel like they’re shining or not. I certainly don’t shine every day, but I try my best. 🌞
