From London, with love
It’s funny how if you change your perspective you can change how you really feel deep down. I’ve been working so hard to keep a positive mindset, but sometimes you just have to let yourself feel what you need to feel, if not it’ll just come out in some other way. The Pandemic made it so difficult to meet people and I was so lonely. There came a few points when I was feeling good, hanging out with new people, dating, falling for the wrong people, and when it didn't work out, I felt more lonely than I had before. It took some time for me to look within and understand what was going on.
I’m the kind of person that needs time to process things before I feel them unless something triggers me than it’s instant. In the end, everything that happened was something that I just needed to go through and to truly spend that time connecting with myself. I don’t want to imply that I have never spent time with myself, it’s practically all I do, but after the Pandemic I was so isolated, being in a new city and not having many friends around. It caused so many feelings to rise up that I never had to deal with before. I suppose they were always there, but it was the first time I had to confront them and I couldn’t push them down anymore.
All I wanted to do was to when I came to London was to meet people, have new experiences and grow, personally and with my career. I’m grateful for this new working culture where companies are letting people work from wherever they want and respecting people’s boundaries, but it’s been difficult for me because I love to collaborate with people in person; I find it really fulfilling. Since working in isolation is starting to become the norm I have gotten used to it, but since it was taken away from me for so long I’m feeling repercussions. These time I’ve spent reflecting really made me understand myself so much better and identify with what I need in order to have a more fulfilling life. I want to be around people. I want to work with people. I want to inspire people. I want to help people. It's taken me a while to adjust to living in London and I feel like it's created another version of me, not one where I recognize, I feel like I have been hiding in a shell and not even dressing how I used to (weather pertaining of course). All I know is, I won’t let myself become thing I don’t want to be.
